Alrighty then.  So it took me longer to get this up and the season has started, but it's not like I'm filling out my NCAA tourney brackets after the first weekend.  It's not as if I'll say Adam Dunn will hit 324 homeruns this season, which he is currently on pace to do.  I'm sure that Julio Lugo won't strike out every single at-bat this year.  Now, onto my personal opinion about how I feel about teams that I just don't root for although I pay attention to some of them.

AL East

1.  Red Sox
2.  Yankees
3.  Blue Jays
4.  Devil Rays
5.  Orioles

Yankees

At some point this has got to end.  What kills me is that they seem to get worse and worse every season yet they always come out on top.  Bobby Abreu was a great pick-up for them, which allowed the team to part ways with the cancerous Gary Sheffield.  Robinson Cano is now the Yankee I fear the most, which isn't good, because he's young and will terrorize us for years to come.  The Yankees have some glaring problems as well.  The pitching staff is suspect.  Mike Mussina is the furthest thing from a big game pitcher, especially in the post-season.  The A-Rod saga is going to reach new levels.  I predict to the point where A-Rod cries during a post-game press conference.  They have to trade him.  He's a more attractive cancer to that clubhouse than Sheffield.  Bringing in old pal Doung Mienkiwatchdoinavitz isn't going to help A-Rod relax nor will it help the Yankees at the plate.  This will be the most interesting post-World Series win in 2000 season yet.

Blue Jays

I can't take them seriously until their pitching staff remains healthy for at least one half of a season.  On top of that, Frank Thomas + big contract + astro turf isn't a cocktail I'd order on a Friday night.  HOWEVER, they have the most dangerous everyday player in the AL in Vernon Wells.  That guy broke my heart when he re-upped with the team.  I was praying he'd go away and take his path of destruction elsewhere.  Now he must torture me and the entire Red Sox pitching staff for years to come.  To be honest my hope was that we'd throw huge money at him and sign him for the next 8 years.

Devil Rays

I'm going out on a limb here and predicting the Rays leave the basement.  It's bound to happen.  So many strange things have happened in sports recently.  Cardinals won a World Series.  Colts won a Super Bowl.  Florida won the BCS Nacho Cheese Bowl.  Mark my words.  These guys will be frisky.

Orioles

Spent a ton of dough on crummy players like Jaret Wright and still have Kevin Millar.  They also have Anna Benson which is bound to drive everyone crazy in year two.  Say hello to the bean bag chairs and blacklights in the basement boys.  I'm sure you'll smell the stench of the Rays after being down there all these years.  Bring the Lysol.

AL Central

1. Indians
2. Tigers
3. Twins
4. White Sox
5. Royals

Indians

You just feel like their time is coming.  Much like Detroit last season they have a lot of young guys who are going to click.  I hope to see a huge year from Grady Sizemore.  If not he's headed to a pre-fab in Rocco Baldelli Estates, which would be sad.  Watch for Trot Nixon to add some intensity and spark.  He's in a "I'll show them" year and as long as his arms don't fall off he should be decent.

Tigers

Everybody is gunning for you baby and I'm not sure you can handle it.  Plus, watching the Jim Leyland act everyday is going to grow tiresome.  Just like it did for the White Sox last year (and will more this year) with Ozzie Guillen the players will respond poorly to it if things start to go wrong.  They are an exciting team to watch and I'm front row center in the Joel Zumaya fan club.  He's awesome to watch.

Twins

I just can't put them in fourth place, because when you count them out they always do something to scrape their way back into it.  I don't see them as a playoff team, especially with the pitching injuries and reliance on Sidney Ponson to contribute anything more than his skills at the post-game buffet spread.

White Sox

By July we'll hear rumors of Ozzie being fired.  It's the best thing for this club.  His antics used to be effective, but then they became part of the show and it all went to his head.  He needs to take advice from Sanjaya Malakar on how to be polarizing yet survive the hostility.

Royals

Sure you can beat the Red Sox consistently, going back to last year, but can you beat anybody else?  They have some promising young players in Tony Pena and Alex Gordon, but they are a few years away from getting out of this basement.

AL West

1. Angels
2. Mariners
3. Rangers
4. A's

Angels

I think they win by default, because they have the most talent HOWEVER if they keep Shea Hillenbrand all season they will finish closer to thrid place than first.  I don't understand why teams keep signing him.  He is the biggest tumor in all of baseball.  Good luck guys.

Mariners

My frisky team of the year.  Ichiro in a free agency year.  Beltre playing well.  Young talent.  Good pitching.  Watch them make some waves.  In two years they'll be a playoff contender.

Rangers

Crappy pitching + good offense - Gary Matthews, Jr. in a free agency year = third place.  Can't Josh Daniels just trade some of their gawdy offense for some decent pitching?  It's more difficult to hit home runs in Williamsport, PA's Little League field than Ameriquest Field in Arlington near Dallas residing in Texas or whatever it's called.

A's

The wheels on the bus come falling off.  Falling off.  Falling off.  I don't want to believe it, but I'm not seeing it this year.  The pitching staff has been gutted worse than a small mouth bass, which I'll probably eat when they make the ALCS.

NL East

1. Phillies
2. Marlins
3. Mets
4. Braves
5. Nationals

Phillies

I like the Phillies chances for two reasons.  One, the no Abreu factor.  They got very frisky after he was traded last season and I believe over the course of the year this is going to be helpful.  However, that horrible park is going to kill them at times and they'll lose their fair share of games to guys hitting home runs who have no business hitting home runs.  Two, the Mets are sans Pedro.  I don't believe he's coming back early or on schedule, which will help the Phillies over the long haul.

Marlins

A very good, young team, with emerging stars like Hanley Ramirez consistently reminding everyone that the Sox could have traded a bunch of other guys and saved a ton of dough on shortstops if they kept him.  Their oldest pitcher is younger than me.  Most of them were born in the 80's.  It's amazing how young they are which means their too stupid to know how good they will be.

Mets

I don't see their pitching holding up.  They are older than old in some spots and they have Aaron Sele.  That's a guy who isn't making the Ex-Sox All Star Team. 

Braves

The whole Andruw Jones saga will be a rather large bother this season plus their pitching is not that good.  They need to dump some of the veterans now to get major league reay youth and then they will be the Braves of old who make the playoffs every year and can't win a World Series.

Nationals

I don't know who is worse, the National or the Redskins.  It's so hard to tell.  One sucks because they have no money and the other sucks because they spend too much on the wrong players.  Man I miss those Expos uniforms.

NL Central

1. Cardinals
2. Cubs
3. Reds
4. Astros
5. Brewers
6. Pirates

NOTE:  This division is impossible to pick.  I bet all 6 teams finish within 8 games of each other.  It's that close.

Cardinals

I don't like them.  I don't see them repeating, but they are the most complete team in the division and they added Adam Kennedy, who I have always liked.  Will finish dead last if LaRussa coaches them on proper DUI techniques or worse how to use a fungo bat in jail.

Cubs

They have a ton of new guys so they'll start off slow and then they'll kill everyone for a while and then level off once everyone realizes Wood and Prior are never going to be healthty.  This is bound to drive LouP crazy, but it will be fun to watch.

Reds

Seems like their year.  If Junior stays healthy they will be the frisky team of the NL.  Oh and if Bronson keeps himself off of Facebook he'll have a decent year.

Astros

Roger.  Roger.  He isn't coming.  What do we do now?  If we hear stories of him hanging with Michael Jordon we'll know he'll come back to Boston or New York looking for gambling money.  They also spent Roger's money on Carlos Lee's dietician Dan Marino. 

Brewers

I really want them to be good, but they will only be good if they bring back their old uniforms every day and not just on Sunday's.  Do that Selig family and your guys are sure to finish higher than fifth place.

Pirates

What can I say these days?  Oh I've got it.  Bring back your old uniforms.  What you wear now sucks Kansas City Royally.  You can officially add Freddy Sanchez to the Ex-Sox All-Star Team though.  I hope we get to see every at-bat against Jeff Suppan this year as a reminder of how dumb that trade was.

NL West

1. Dodgers
2. Padres
3. Diamondbacks
4. Rockies
5. Giants

Dodgers

They are loaded....for a National League team.  The only thing that can kill them is Derek Lowe's penis and Grady Little's brain.  Put them both under wraps and they are going places.  Look for them to add Mia and Nomar's twin girls by the trade deadline.

Padres

Don't be surprised if they take the division.  They are a good team with lots of young talent and a rejuvinated David Wells who will thrive like senior citizens thrive in warm climates.

Diamondbacks

Don't be surprised if they contend for the division.  Another good young team on the verge of a breakout season.  I thought last year they would be frisky, but this year I know they'll be frisky and if Randy Johnson kills some birds it will be even better.  Man that video clip never gets old.

Giants

They might as well ask Tom Cruise to sing "Free Fallin" before every home game, because they are going to be horrible.  Zito is going to be downright awful and the Bonds issue will be so distracting that everyone should hate this season by tomorrow.

 

 

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