I cannot believe this.  I really can’t.  When I started this blog I had to create tags to label my posts.  Apparently the software doesn’t believe that you would be able to decipher my mood by the tone of my writing.  Currently there are four tags; Clean Sox, Dirty Sox, Random Thoughts and Rant.  Each has to have a description so that the software can consider it “official”.  The software and I have a love/hate relationship.  Want to know what I used to describe Dirty Sox?  “Usually rolls in around June when I’m cranky about something” is the exact quote.  It’s friggen May 1 and I’m already pissed.  God help me when my daughter is born.  I just hope she loves me and my flaws.  Part of this current state of being is Tito.  Part of it is the players themselves and mainly my wrath is being hurled at the God’s of Coincidence that decided to break Coco Crisp’s hand.  Have you figured out how important I believe he is to the success of this team?  You would think I could breakdown his DNA at this stage.   

Let’s analyze some key issues from somebody who just witnessed his local 9 drop three straight series and four of five(For those scoring at home they have gone 6 and 9 over that span).  Some are obvious, while others solidify the fact that I analyze the living hell out of this game and should apply the energy to something more productive like eating paste.

You cannot score when nobody is out there

Manny and Papi have so many solo home runs this season, because nobody is on in front of them.  Manny might be lacking a bit in the extra base hits, but he is getting his hits now and yet he only has 13 RBI.  All of those singles would result in RBIs if there were men on to drive home plus Manny is the most dangerous when there are men on and pitchers become more careful and thus force themselves into making a critical mistake.  On a positive note, Papi is hitting his fair share of home runs in front of Manny, which results in zero complaints from this fan, but I will note that when you have 10 home runs and 5 doubles you should have more than 20 RBI.  Now I know what Paul Konerko experienced last year.  What needs to occur immediately is for Loretta to snap out of this artic freeze.  It’s so bad that you can see polar bears migrating to home plate when he steps up.  During the first three weeks of the season you could guarantee that he would put good wood on the ball.  Now I’m just happy that he doesn’t get hurt running to first, while being thrown out. 

Youkilis is not Greek for lead-off hitter

I’m adamant about this one.  I’ve said it before, but yesterdays at bat in the bottom of the ninth may have been the worst at bat that any player has had this season.  I’m not being narcissistic, but how did I know what pitches he was going to see and yet he didn’t?  When you have a man on first and third, with one out, all signs point to a fastball for the first pitch.  The pitcher is obviously convinced, based on your rep, that you are going to show patience.  You need to throw your own change-up make them very aware that you know that pitch is coming.  So when Shawn Camp cruised a fastball right over the plate you had to jump on it, yet you watched it go by.  Camp has two reliable pitches.  The other one is a slider.  He just got away with a fastball.  What’s coming next?  Yes Kevin, the mother effin slider passed right over the Equator.  Another ball that you could have, at the very least, put in the air for a sacrifice fly.  Kevin, you’re down 0-2 and you have an ice cold hitter behind you.  Your objective at this point is to kick back to Little League fundamentals and fight off anything that is remotely close to the plate.  What do you do?  YOU WATCH THE INSIDE FASTBALL GO BY!!!!!!!!!!  How could you do this?  How was this even an option in your mind?  Did your inside voice suggest it?  Why did you not kill the inside voice?   How could you complain to the ump when it was obviously a strike?  Complain to yourself for being so unprepared for that at-bat.  Your reaction to watching three straight strikes go by, while subsequently killing your team’s chances of tying the game, was absolutely unacceptable.

The Stranded

I’m too lazy to count the actual number up, but it seems like they have left approximately 1238 runner on base during this slump.  Yesterday the Sox had eleven runners in scoring position and not one scored.  Not one.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Not one runner.  Don’t use the Kazmir is tough on us excuse either.  Nine of those runners were allowed by him.  It’s not as if he was Koufaxian yesterday. 

Tito

I am actually in Tito’s corner most of the time, but sometimes he makes some decisions that absolutely baffle me.  Yes, I’m not in the dugout and I don’t know what makes them tick and tock, but I do know one thing.  In a one run game you do not bring in Rudy Seanez.  You bring him in when the plus/minus is five.  I was listening to the game in the car and when I heard Joe Castiglione announce that Seanez was in I immediately turned it off.  I’m not a Chicken Little.  I’m a realist and I knew he would never be able to keep it tight.  Why not bring Delcarmen in for two innings?  The kid can’t get good by riding pine.  He needs to throw and right now I have him behind Papelbon and Foulke in the trust department.  I hope you learned your lesson Tito when you watched the him pitch the eighth.

This one has been beaten into the ground more than a dumb Brokeback Mountain joke, but I’m not sure the message reaching Tito’s brain.  If God is telling you that your entire family is going to be swallowed by molten lava unless you put Timlin in, with runners on base, then you do not put Timlin in.  He’s the best pitcher in the world when the bases are empty.  Let’s make sure we keep it that way.

Please take Julian Tavarez off of the Prozac.  I don’t like the happy go lucky Tavarez.  I want the crazy Tavarez.  He’s a much better pitcher when he is raw and unpredictable.  What you’re doing to him is the equivalent of me never allowing my dog to run again.  It’s inhumane. 

Are things looking up?

One of these days Coco is going to return to the line-up.  That day might be a national holiday in the Giro Nation.

Mirabelli is back.  Wise move.  Meredith was never going to be more than a middle reliever so basically you traded Meredith, Bard and cash for Mirabelli and Loretta.  It’s a good deal top to bottom.  For starters, there are plenty of good young pitchers in the minors who have a higher ceiling than Cla Meredith.  Secondly, Wakefiled was looking at 23 losses if Josh Bard were to remain his personal catcher.  The easiest way to get Wakefield’s psyche back was to give him his security blanket.  Now maybe his neck cramp will go away, because he’ll stop throwing fastballs and watching them leave the yard.

WiMo hit a change-up for a home run using one arm.  Did you see that yesterday?  I may be reading into this, but this is a big deal.  That never would have happened four weeks ago.  The karma is coming.  The karma is coming.