Don't worry. I don't feel like getting wrecked.

I don’t obsessively follow DL stints and injury reports.  When Coco went on the DL two weeks ago it was for 15 days.  Last night I caught a sound byte that mentioned he wasn’t going to Toronto this weekend.  OK, that stung a bit.  Today, I read Bob Ryan’s column and he mentions that Coco is missing the entire road trip and feels that Coco is not coming back until May.  Did somebody just kick me in the teeth while I was sleeping?  Please tell me this is a bad dream.  I’m upset on two levels.  For starters, Coco is a pleasure to watch.  He oozes talent and it’s hard not to notice when he’s on the field.  Not too many players have grabbed my attention so quickly.  Secondly, until her got hurt it was obvious that he was the offensive catalyst, just like a leadoff hitter should be - and that speed, that sweet smelling speed.  You could see how he instantly put pressure on pitchers, which took it off of his teammates-although I don’t believe Mark Loretta knows what pressure is.  That has a trickle down effect, which eventually helps everyone in the line-up.  Now that he’s absent for a few more weeks I fear the offense is going to run into some issues.  The only thing that can save it as the pendulum rocks back to cool off the hot hitters is that the cool hitters, like Tek and Manny, heat up and carry the load for a little while.

I’m honestly shocked that Youkilis has gotten off to such a great start, but he is in no way a leadoff hitter.  The “Greek God of Walks” is not taking too many free passes up there, which surprises me.  The bad is that he hasn’t been setting the table too much, but the good is that his clutch hitting has been clearing it.  The ugly is that I’d give John Goodman, in Babe Ruth mode, a better chance to leg out a triple.  If he’s going to be in that role for a while longer then he has to understand the responsibilities.  My entire life I was a 3 or 4 hitter, but when All-Star tournaments rolled around I was slotted into the leadoff spot, mainly because I knew how to draw a walk and possessed speed.  This first occurred when I was ten.  How did I know what to do at ten years old and yet Youkilis doesn’t apply it today?  Even if it’s for a few weeks, will the Greek God please set the table for Loretta, Papi and Manny?

The first Boomer may have to retire column came out today.  I’m putting $400 down on the first Clemens to Boston rumor hitting the press wire this afternoon around 2:30 ET.  I’m sure the dumb mullets on WEEI are talking about it already, but in the dictionary under relevant it says “those guys don’t count”.  I’d also like to digress to give credit to by old college buddy, Tom Arruda, for coining the phrase “dumb mullet” when we were mere sophomores.  Tom also holds the distinction of being the only person born and raised in New Bedford, MA who grew up a Yankees fan.  It’s no coincidence that his house was located directly under power lines and within 500 feet of a psychiatric hospital.  The Clemens scenario is beginning to take on charming status with me.  It’s reminiscent of a novelty act.  The big picture midget that lives in my head is hoping that Craig Hansen tears it up in the minors and Keith Foulke finds his old form plus that killer change-up.  This will allow Papelbon to move into the starting rotation without diminishing the confidence that we currently have in the bullpen.  But then again, this could very well happen and Clemens could still sign with the team.  I will put nothing past these owners, especially when Tom Werner demands the rights to the Sunday Night Movie “Special K:  The Story of Roger Clemens”.