My expert analysis consists of watching 10 minutes of SportsCenter,
3 innings of non-Red Sox Spring Training baseball on ESPN and a
collection of information that collects and sits in my head for months
at a time. The later is my talent. I have no idea how my
brain acts as a sponge for useless information, but it has helped me to
become a Trivial Pursuit master. On top of that I've got crazy instincts. I can assure you that this will
be considerably shorter than yesterday's novel. I also left out a
segment on the Red Sox players we'll see by July, but I wanted to keep it
under a half million words.
We're going east to west with this one from the AL to the NL. Let's boogie.
AL East
1. Red Sox
2. Yankees
3. Orioles
4. Blue Jays
5. Devil Rays
Boston Red Sox
See yesterdays post.
New York Yankees
Another year older and well another year older. How much do these guys
have in the tank? When will Jeter stab A-Rod in the eye with a blunt pencil? Will the steroids investigation end up
distracting Giambi and Sheffield to the point of insantiy? Is
Moose done? What are you going to get from Randy Johnson? I
think Bernie Williams is celebrating his 60th birthday in May.
They won the division last year, but I'm honestly not feeling it this
season. The two biggest acquistions they made were Johnny Damon
and Kyle Farnsworth. Farnsworth is solid and may be the correct
replacement for Tom Gordon. Damon is honestly a puzzle. He
played hurt for most of last season while I thought his arm was going to
fall off at any moment and there are rumors he's aching
already. For the first time in years their pitching is a
giant question mark.
Baltimore Orioles
The Orioles have zero expectations, which is why they will be a thorn
in everyone's side. Trust me, they'll win a few rip out your
heart games over your favorite team this year. It's that or Miguel Tejada kills Kevin Millar for talking too much.
Toronto Blue Jays
Every single member of the media has Toronto either winning this
division or finishing second. Listen to me right now. This is not going to
happen. Why is everybody so excited for Burnett, Glaus, Overbay
and Molina? I just don't get it. These guys have done
nothing to ever get you to say wow. OK, Glaus did early in his
career, but those injuries keep stacking up for him. How does
that same body hold up on Toronto's turf? Last time I checked
Bengie Molina still ran slower than a toddler. I could care less
that every bandwagon jumper is holding on to Curt Schilling's words
from last year that Burnett has the "best stuff in baseball", because
he's a .500 pitcher at this point. The pressure is going to kill
these guys, which is why I have them behind loosey goosey Baltimore. Watch,
when it starts to go wrong Mr. PC Hillenbrand will unleash his
cancerous ways within the clubhouse and seal the coffin shut. This will also occur when Roy Halladay goes on a DL tour or two.
Tampa Bay
They have so much young talent. They have to put it together
sooner or later. Will it be this season? I doubt it, which
means I'm looking forward to the brawls they'll instigate with the Sox
and any other takers. Plus I'll dream of Rocco Baldelli wearing a Red Sox uniform.
AL Central
1. Chicago
2. Cleveland
3. Minnesota
4. Detroit
5. Kansas City
Chicago White Sox
The world champs went out and got Thome. It will help the offense
as long as his body holds up. They also rid themselves of Frank
Thomas, which can only be a good thing. I don't think they got
that much better than everyone is saying, but they'll win this division
again yet they may get battered and bruised in the process. They're beatable though and
I don't think their march to October is going to be as easy as
predicted. Can they handle everybody gunning for them?
Cleveland Indians
Yes there is a lot of pressure on them. Yes, if Grady Sizemore
works out, they just signed him for an absolute bargain. How does
he handle the pressure though? Their imain concern is pitching.
Like so many other teams pitching is an issue, but that line-up is so
stacked and will put up a plethora of runs. Oh and they have the ever so dreamy Andy
Marte playing the role of new guy. They may fall short of the
playoffs again, but they are going to be entertaining.
Minnesota Twins
Like Chicago, their pitching will win a lot of games for them.
How the young guys play is the big question. It's time to pass
the baton to the Joe Mauer's and Justin Morneau's, but are they ready
for it? If so, look for them to reek havoc on this entire
division.
Detroit Tigers
I was so tempted to put them in third place, but I don't want to get
too far ahead of myself. They are very young and very fast.
Is Magglio going to play a full season? He's played in 134 games
over the last two. If he can go this entire year, injury free,
he'll help them out a lot. Add this to the young and talented
pitching staff and watch the Tigers create some fits for a lot of teams
this year.
Kansas City Royals
I miss Kansas City. I really miss the team from the early and
mid-80's. They were so much fun to watch. Why have they
been so bad for so long? Get your act together and copy the
Minnesota/Oakland example of running a team on the cheap. Or
perhaps owner David Glass can open his Wal-Mart sized wallet and spend
some money. What always bothers me is that basic sociology proves
that everyone loves a winner. Spend some money + better talent +
winning = more fans in the seats and luxury boxes x revenue generated
from advertising = something positive.
AL West
1. Los Angeles Angels
2. Oakland A's
3. Seattle Mariners
4. Texas Rangers
LA Angels
They win by default. They have the most talent and the best
pitching. That's usually a good situation to be in. The only thing that
concerns me, although this is an annual concern, is the size of Bartolo
Colon. I watched the WBC. He looks even larger than ever. At some point his body is going to pay him and his stomach back with
an injury that will force him to shut it down for a long time. If that happens
this year then this division gets wide open.
Oakland Athletics
I was very close to placing them in third place. I'm tired of
the A's. They'll never win it, because they'll never get the final
pieces to the puzzle that pushes them over the top. Frank
Thomas? Good luck with that. I think Greg Vaughn is available too. I'm cutting the A's some slack,
because my favorite third baseman in the world plays for them. I
love watching Eric Chavez play. He is a bonafide stud and
definitely holds the title of "Guy I would most love to have on my
team". Yes my man crush on good third basemen continues.
Seattle Mariners
They're going to be frisky within this division. Beltre will be
vastly improved over last season. They have two hot young rookies
in Felix Hernandez and uber rookie Kenji Johjima. My dream is for them to field an entire line-up of Japanese players. They also play in
the best ballpark in all of baseball. Look for them to sneak in
through the back porch on their division mates.
Texas Rangers
It's like the movie Groundhog Day. They have a monster line-up
and terrible pitching. They'll score 5000 runs while
they allow 7001.
NL East
1. Atlanta
2. New York Mets
3. Philadelphia
4. Washington
5. Florida
Atlanta Braves
Until somebody knocks them off the mountain top they'll always be number one. Too
bad they can't win the World Series or lately, make it. They have
the strongest pitching and in this division that wins it.
New York Mets
The pitching and Pedro's toe is a major question mark, but they have enough youth to
keep the energy and competitive fire burning. Is this David
Wright's team now? He has been annointed the chosen one and I
like his game. Guess what position he plays? If Delgado has any sugar left in his packet the Mets
will surprise everyone.
Philadelphia
Weak pitching. Small ballpark. That park will win games for them and lose a lot too. I really have nothing to say, because they are mediocre at best...I think.
Washington Nationals
These guys are an enigma. I believe they can finish anywhere from second to last in this division. Actually, so can everyone else except Florida. How long does Soriano stay? How long does Soriano remain a team player? The Trot Nixon and Manny Delcarmen for Soriano and his $10 million contract rumors should begin in June.
Florida Marlins
I am going to petition the league to call them the Whatchoo Talkin Bout Willis’. They have one of the best young pitchers in the game (Willis) and one of the best young positional players in Miguel Cabrera. Unfortunately that’s about it. This team needs to be moved out of Florida immediately. It’s unfair that you have a world champ one year and a decimated line-up the next. It’s as if the Marlins are serving the purpose of being a development team for everyone else. If they don’t move then find an owner who will build a stadium, near or in the city, who won’t screw the public on the financing.
NL Central
1. St. Louis
2. Milwaukee
3. Houston
4. Pittsburgh
5. Chicago Cubs
6. Cincinnati
St. Louis Cardinals
They are the new Braves. They’ll win this division for the next 8 years and will have zero World Series wins to show for it. They will continually have holes in the pitching staff and the offense will be exploited after everyone not named Brad Lidge pitches around Pujols. Plus, Tony Larussa is the Manager. Enough said.
Milwaukee Brewers
I need to take a chance with some of these picks and the Brewers are my sleeper team for 2006. Any team that plays in Miller High Life Park has got to have a fighting chance. They are a solid, young, team that showed a lot last season. One more year of experience plus the ginormous Prince Fielder and they’ll be a fun team to watch. The conditions are right for this division to see a shift occur underneath the Cardinals and Milwaukee is going to crack a lot of skulls.
Houston Astros
The pitching will carry them through stretches of the season, but the White Sox exploited a very flawed offense. They shine at home and sputter on the road. The Astros are shedding the Bagwell albatross (Call it quits Bags. You have had a fine career. Don’t let it get ugly.) and making room for some exciting young players. Mix that all in with expectations and an uncertain Roger Clemens and third place is as high as they’ll get this year.
Pittsburgh Pirates
They’re a frisky young team ala the Detroit Tigers. If they would kick it old school and go back to wearing the uniforms from the “We Are Family” 70’s then I will launch them straight into third place.
Chicago Cubs
Done and done. They need to re-tool and fast. Prior and Wood are already hurt. They decided to go on the DL a couple of months early. I’d trade them while they still have value. You can easily find a team or two dumb enough to take a chance on one of them. Do it while you can or it will be another 120 years before you smell the playoffs, much less the World Series, ever again.
Cincinnati Reds
I have no idea, short of Junior, Sean Casey and Bronson Arroyo who is on this team. They are the opposite of sleeper. They’ve already been put to bed. If you’re rebuilding it’s not around Junior. He will be the biggest name being discussed in late July, if not sooner. I’m starting another rumor. If Nixon struggles and the Sox are on the verge of running away with the division then look for them to take a chance on Junior and his groin that he shares with Fred Taylor.
Al West
1. San Diego
2. Los Angeles
3. Arizona
4. San Francisco
5. Colorado
San Diego Padres
I know the Dodgers are everyone’s favorite, but that’s not going to happen. This division sucks and the Padres are the only team set up to win it for the next few years. They have a lot of good young players and I like the addition of Piazza. A full season in sunny and warm San Diego will do wonders for him. I cannot see any other team in this division doing anything to threaten them.
LA Dodgers
I put them here by default, because I don’t think Arizona is ready to step up and push San Diego. The Dodgers are most certainly the Aging Red Sox West. Derek Lowe’s personal issues are not going away. Nomar can’t hit a whiffle ball anymore. Bill Mueller is my favorite Dirt Dog of all time, but he can’t carry them. Furcal was their biggest signing and they have Grady Little managing them. Now do they get a new and improved Grady or one whose mind will be clogged by the LA smog by June? Also, will Eric Gagne’s come flying off in a horrifying accident while Wes Craven is in attendance? It's Hollywood. Anything can happen.
Arizona Diamondbacks
They have the right plan in place and I cannot believe they were able to rid themselves of Troy Glaus. That move makes the season for them. Give them a couple of years before they’re ready to push San Diego, but they are the frisky team in this division and should cause some headaches.
San Francisco
I don’t care what anybody else says, this team is going to be crushed by the steroid investigation. George Mitchell and his troops will be a welcome sight in their clubhouse after dealing with the media circus that is going to follow them every single day. This will be interesting to watch, because somebody on this team will slug a reporter at some point. Too bad they didn’t sign Kenny Rogers.
Colorado Rockies
I have nothing to say here. Terrible team. Terrible everything. To steal a quote from The Way of the Gun "Tell ya the truth, I don't think this is a brains kind of operation."
